Come on KIPPERS wake up and smell the fuckoffee
- 25 Jan 2014
Dear old badger watching Ron Davis had his moment of madness at Gobblers Gulch on Clapham Common. And Gerald Rattner’s witty speech at an Institute of Directors conference that his jewellery company’s products were ‘absolute crap’ went flatter than a trainer bra, destroyed his...
Ninety five Tory MPs write to Cameron demanding the repatriation of our weather from the EU
- 12 Jan 2014
Today the Coalition was in disarray as ninety five Tory MPs sent a letter to David Cameron demanding that Britain repatriate its glorious weather from the EU, stolen by an undemocratic conspiracy of fat sweating Belgians and Ted Heath in 1971. ‘Enough is enough’ thundered Bil...
A strange week in politics
- 11 Jan 2014
This has been a very strange week for politics. George Osborne’s careful kettling of Labour and the Lib Dems over the £25 billion black hole in public spending was either an act of strategic genius or a catastrophic political miscalculation which will wrap the Tories in the ma...
The wonderful goatfucking Simon Hoggart
- 6 Jan 2014
Just a few brief words about the sad death of the Guardian’s Simon Hoggart. Simon was a good friend for many years. A giant amongst journalists and a truly decent, humane and kind human being. Not always qualities that are common amongst the shark pool of seasoned Lobby journa...
How the Tories can have KIPPERS for breakfast
- 29 Dec 2013
At last I have finished my book, An Unexpected MP, to be published by Biteback on the 25th March. It is now in the hands of the libel lawyers and my splendid editor, Sam Carter, so I can join the happy throng of commentators talking absolute bollocks about what next year has i...
50 shades of Grayling and why I've had enough and going on strike.
- 5 Dec 2013
The former Lord Chief Justice, Igor Judge, has proved to be a remarkably formidable and skilled tactician. In one speech he has given the government a lifeline and Chris Grayling a death threat. The trouble is that our esteemed Lord Chancellor is so dim that he can only ident...
Hair Flick, heir to Thatcher; Bozzza!!!!
- 28 Nov 2013
Good old Bozza!!!! What a man of belief, principle and er, um, um, ambition. There could not have been a dry gusset at the Centre for Policy Studies when our hero delivered the The Annual Margaret Thatcher Lecture. Might you, they could never spell. Oh, if only she could be l...
The crystal Methodist's real crime was trashing an ethical brand
- 22 Nov 2013
Ed Balls takes some beating as the most repulsive man in British politics. Just as I thought that he could sink no lower he now tries to twist the crystal Methodist minister scandal into a ‘did Osborne and Cameron ever take cocaine, we need to be told’ outrage. Do we need to b...
It's the God Cameron versus the nightmare Balls show. Expecting high viewing figures.
- 17 Nov 2013
There is an eerie silence that nobody is writing about. A silence that is so significant that it could be an election game changer. It is the silence of Conservative rebels. Like turkeys finally working out that voting for Christmas is not a particularly good idea, the swivel ...
It is time to break up the energy companies and separate production from sale.
- 24 Oct 2013
For the very first time in my life I felt sorry for both Norman Tebbit and Simon Heffer. No doubt I will need deep therapy over the months. What a terrible dilemma these two old Tory dinosaurs face. They despise both John Major and David Cameron and everything they stand for. ...