HMS Mordaunt has been launched but the smart money is on Kemi Badenoch who dreads naught
- 13 Jul 2022
Predicting Conservative leadership elections is neither an art nor a science. At best it’s guesswork based on who has a grudge, who wants a job and who wants to be on the winning side. Mostly all three. But let’s have a think for a moment what the winning side should be. The o...
This old fox with blood and feathers round his mouth & claims to be a vegan should be evicted from the hen house immediately
- 8 Jul 2022
So the old fox still lives in the hen house despite a promise to turn vegan for a couple of months. The Daily Mail in truly Daily Mash style accuses narcissistic MPs of getting rid of the Conservatives’ ‘greatest electoral asset’. The front page is a joy, ‘what have they done?...
For the first time in his life Boris is facing electile dysfunction & 211 of the blue chappies won’t raise his game
- 7 Jun 2022
For the first time in his life Boris Johnson is suffering from a severe case of electile dysfunction. And two hundred and eleven of the blue chappies won’t save him from the disappointment of not being able to raise his game. The poor fellow puts the dick into predicta...
The frat house culture at Number 10 is not a disgrace it is an abomination. And Johnson thinks that he has got away with it
- 25 May 2022
The Prime minister’s performance at the despatch box today was the most shameful that it has ever been my misfortune to witness. Arrogant, cocky, oozing ersatz contrition with all the honour and sincerity of a snake oil salesman. He even had the nerve to turn the blame on Star...
Starmer’s mistake was not to realise the ruthless ability of the Tories & the press to reverse ferret
- 11 May 2022
I am not a Labour supporter nor ever could be. But I do feel sorry for Keir Starmer. He is bright, decent and as honest as any senior politician seeking the highest office in the land is allowed to be. He has made Labour electable by appointing a sensible and competent shadow...
The options are simple. Cold baths, chemical castration & the Complete Dick Prevention Act
- 1 May 2022
I genuinely feel very sorry for Members of Parliament. The overwhelming majority are hard working, decent sorts who genuinely want to do the best for their constituents. Yet they have to put up with abuse on social media, the scorn of the general public, rubbish pay and are ex...
There is one reason why Johnson should be allowed to cling on to power a little longer; Liz Truss. It would be like being rescued from the Titanic by the Marie Celeste.
- 14 Apr 2022
Despite his bombastic, venal, morally vacuous, self centred, narcissistic copper bottomed shitery where his relationship with the truth is at best adulterous, there is one very good reason that Johnson should be allowed cling to office for a little while longer. Liz Truss; the...
The criminal bar negotiated with the government in good faith. Our reward is to still be wiping the spit from our faces
- 3 Apr 2022
I haven’t blogged for the last couple of months as there has hardly been a day when I haven’t worked for at least thirteen hours or a weekend where I have had much, if any, free time. Like most practitioners at the criminal bar I am physically and mentally exhausted. Not enou...
Guto Harri is one of the good guys. One of the few who can tell Johnson not to be a twat. But he is merely palliative care. The jostling of Starmer May be a game changer
- 7 Feb 2022
When Boris Johnson became Prime Minister (matron I need my meds!) I wrote that he would be mad not to bring in Guto Harri as his director of comms. And when Johnson really started to fuck up (matron pleeese !) I wrote that the only man that could save him was Harri. That he sh...
Sue Gray is not legally obliged to redact her report. Should heed the words of the Duke of Wellington “Publish and be damned”.
- 29 Jan 2022
I am as astonished and angry at Cressida Dick’s legally incomprehensible decision to ask for great swarths of Sue Gray’s report to be redacted, as any person who really wants to get to the truth of what has been happening in Downing Street during lockdown. She has asked/reque...