MPs are like Meerkats. They look soft and cuddly but are deadly killers who hunt in packs

13 Jun 2017 at 08:18

MP’s are like Meerkats. They look soft and cuddly, but in reality they are deadly killers who hunt in packs. At the moment all eyes are on the carnage in the Tory party. It won’t be too long before Labour’s own bloodbath hits the front pages. Moderates are horrified at Corbyn’s success. A wipe out would have been the perfect excuse to ventilate him and his ghastly crew. This is now the time for a breakaway. Despite the toothsome smiles, the mea culpa’s and the cheers they will give Corbyn at the Queen’s Speech, plotting and unease is bubbling away under the surface. Timing is the key. If they don’t act soon Momentum will have stuffed the party conference by the end of the year. And an electable Labour Party will turn to dust. The Labour Party has been hijacked. It’s time to move on.

But the turmoil that will erupt in Labour is a story for another day. May is a triumph of the mortician’s art. There only only three people she can really trust are Damian Green, Stephen Parkinson, and her husband Philip. They will tell her when to depart with the minimum of humiliation. Real power lies with Graham Brady, who has emerged as a big beast, and the two Gavins who have rebooted the Maybot into humility mode. It’s a holding operation. Nothing more. The Cabinet despise each other, but her even more. Ignore the gibberings of loyalty and support from the meerkats. They are just sniffing the air for personal opportunity. They don’t want an early election and neither do the people.

There is a golden rule in politics that as soon as a Prime Minister falls out with her Chancellor over policy it’s curtains. Hammond will never forgive her. He is in alliance with Ruth Davidson. Both will get a more sensible Brexit. And Davidson has her shock troops in Scotland. Don’t think that they will slavishly follow the Westminster whip. They won’t.

What has to be done is put down the destructive demands of the Amish wing with their puritanical demands over Brexit. They must be crushed. They destroyed Major, Cameron and May with their swivel eyed views. It’s pointless parroting the line about obeying the voice of the people on 23 June. The people have spoken again and they don’t much care for a negotiating position which will screw their jobs and living standards.

But what is our negotiating position? At the moment I haven’t a clue, save that the article 50 letter and white paper have been reduced to chip paper. And who is Barnier negotiating with? May is not going to be there for too much longer. Who is calling the shots now? The answer is Hammond. He will take the lead role. You can almost smell the burning rubber of the multiple U turns which will be performed. Poor Theresa. There is nothing more humiliating than a politician eating her own words. This is going to be a banquet.

In many ways the electorate got it right. They are not keen on more grammar schools, the dementia tax and getting rid of free lunches at primary schools. And they are not going to get them.

But we must stop patronising the young. We have been cynically counting on them not to vote. Well, they did. They have an appetite for it. This is good news. Corbyn gave them hope. It may have been a very cynical false hope, but hope nevertheless. It’s time for a Minister for the young. I’m not suggesting votes for sixteen year olds. But the Tories ignore the young at their peril. We must give them hope that is deliverable.

This afternoon May starts talks with the DUP. Well, good luck matey. It will be a very weird experience. Northern Ireland is a strange place. Everything is looked at through the prism of betrayals, territorial rights, flags and cultural identity. And there is a primal mistrust of perfidious Albion. By all means bribe them with cash and investment. We’ve been doing it for years. But she must be even handed. Introducing legislation to ban Sinn Fein MPs from their allowances and cutting off political donations from abroad would derail the peace process. The Republican community is nervous. We must give them a real future that is not a present which is often an ever recurring past.

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