Never mind the blonde bombshells. The small but perfectly formed Alan Duncan is sharpening his enormous chopper. Boristas beware.

9 Sep 2018 at 09:50

“Look, any fool knows that all this fake news about Bozo has been dreamt up by that infamous gossip and muckraker the potty mouthed Theresa May. This poor guy has been wickedly maligned by the Number 10 rubbish machine. He may be a terrible old flirt, but come on…….would he put his family life and political career on hold for a shag; or two? And if it is true? Well, this is twenty first century Britain. Who cares. Bozo is the only man with the leadership, ability and sheer charisma to lead us to victory. The remainers are fanatics. Mad. Deluded. They want to betray the largest popular vote of all time”. Well, that’s what the Boristas seem to think.

The truth of the matter is that ‘the dirty dossier’ is nothing more than a set of press cuttings, quotes and general gossip that it well known to anyone in Fleet Street with a vague interest in politics. To suggest that Downing Street has mounted a smear campaign is daft. They don’t need to. Most people know what he has been up to. Some care very deeply one way or the other. Others don’t give a monkeys.

Let me expose the myth that senior politicians smear their opponents about their sordid sex lives. There is a deep seated horror of doing this for a whole raft of reasons. But the the most powerful one is that there is a queasiness about exposing private matters because of the fear of retaliation. Everyone has skeletons in their cupboard. I suspect that Madame might just be the exception here. Somehow I can’t picture her as a youth supplying wraps of coke and giving blow jobs behind the bike shed for a tenner. I suspect running through a wheat field is about as much titivation as the press will get. I can remember casually remarking to a chum who was running a leadership campaign about a delightfully sordid piece of gossip concerning a contender. He went as white as a sheet. “For God’s sake don’t repeat that to anyone, it’ll spread like wildfire and then he’ll think it’s come from us”. I kept my mouth shut.

So let’s be real about all of this. To many people Bozo’s dalliances make him cut a colourful figure. The blonde bombshell headlines will soon disappear. I doubt whether there will be any kiss and tell. Yet it is unlikely that there will be a leadership election this side of April simply because it won’t settle anything. And even when it comes, MPs, apart from the die hard Boristas like Mad Nad, won’t put him on the ballot. So his bid will be dead in the water. What will really kill him is incompetence. He is not up to the job. Or any job involving hard work and judgment. The most dangerous and chilling words came from a tweet by Sir Alan Duncan once his deputy at the Foreign Office. Soon he will spill the beans which will be far more explosive that the Heinz variety. My bet is that he will write a devastating hatchet job just before party conference.

Bozo may be down but he is by no means out. The Boristas want to cause trouble. The Chuck Chequers campaign is dangerous. The party faithful could be persuaded to put pressure on their spineless MPs to vote against it. Stupid, unrealistic and dangerous. But it is possible.

But we have had a glimpse of the alternative. The inhabitants of planet ERG have produced their own blueprint. Last week they put it about that they weren’t going to publish it because it would give ammunition to Number 10. They are right. It is so bonkers that not even Bozo could stomach. Task forces to protect the Falklands, a Star Wars shield to protect us from attack. And much, much more. I can’t wait to read it next week.

But Boristas beware, the small but perfectly formed Alan Duncan is sharpening his very large chopper.

Share:

0 comments

Sign up via Facebook or Twitter to comment.

Et Tu Nick Timothy. What a squalid little man

2 Sep 2018 at 18:17

I thought that it would relaxing to have a few weeks of not writing about Bozo. And it was. Now we have migrated from the silly season to the torrid headline season. This will go on way past the conference boreathons until we know what Brussels has to offer. And there is something for everyone. According to the SUN’s ketamine induced “story” that Ruth Davidson has set her sights on Number 10, will desert Scotland to accept a cabinet post and a peerage. A great story except that how does she run the country from the Lords? The last person to do that was the Marquess of Salisbury in 1902. Nil points.

Today’s front pages are rather hysterical about Bozo running for the leadership (yawn). But hang on a minute isn’t he great mates with the Lizard of OZ, Lynton Crosby, who won him two mayoral elections? And didn’t Madame dump on him for messing up her last general election triumph. So he’s a bitter man with scores to settle so therefore he must be running Bozo’s Chuck Chequers masterplan. Except it’s Moggadon man’s plan. So the Ergs must be talking to the Lizard to highjack the conference, stir up a rebellion, force a leadership election and install the blonde bumbler into Number 10. It’s a Brexiteer premature ejaculation party. Dress code, come in your pants. And it will be touch and go.

And let us not forget that Monsieur Fromage might stand as the Mayor of London. Wow, what a shoe in as the punters are a little more pro EU than Brussels.

So what do all these stories have in common? They are toe in the water kite flyers. They are little ruses to test public reaction. All these amuse bouches have grains of truth in them. The carpet biters desperately want a no deal crash out, Bozo or Moggadon in charge and Fromage in a position of something more influential than presenting a radio show. Oh, and the likes of me would love to see Davidson leading the Tories. But…..don’t let’s hold our breaths.

It’s not much different for Labour. All moderates are praying that Frank Field’s resignation of the Whip will be the first whiff of cordite to start the war which will get rid of Corbyn and his thugs. It won’t be because it can’t be. The left have control of all the levers of power. While it may be technically possible to oust Corbyn his selectorate worship him. And if he did bite the dust don’t let’s kid ourselves that a nice moderate would be elected. It will be one of the real nasties.

Well, it all fills the pages and keeps editors reasonably happy until the next photo of Meghan or Kate.

Painfully for me back to Bozo. I always thought that he was the copper bottomed shits shit until I saw Nick Timothy in action. What a squalid little man. He owes everything to Madame and she gave him one hundred and ten percent loyalty. All he has given her in return is more knives than Wilkinsons. And all in the back But like Bozo he has a living to make writing for that sorry excuse for a broadsheet the Daily Mailograph. What a sorry state we are in.

Share:

0 comments

Sign up via Facebook or Twitter to comment.

Boris is not Burka martyr he is just a cunning stunt. He must be disciplined or we are no better than Labour

10 Aug 2018 at 14:33

There is a great deal of miffery down in the snug at the Farage Arms. It’s bad enough having bloody (pardon my French) traitors trying to sabotage the will of the people, Johnny Frog sticking two fingers up to the British roaring lion, but this business with Boris really is the last straw. The ultimate betrayal. Colonel Mad and his lady wife Chclamydia are seriously considering the nuclear option of cancelling their annual cheese and wine Tory fund raiser at their bijou baronial home Dun Thinkin.
“It’s a terrible business Clammy,” mutters the colonel swigging back the last of his eighth sundowner.
“Boris is a fine young man. Honest, trustworthy. A man of his word. A family man. The sort of chap you can rely on. The sort that can lead Blighty back to greatness. And what’s he done wrong? He just says what most of us think. Now don’t get me wrong. Some of these darkies are perfectly fine. That chap Raj and his missus where we get our papers from? Polite. Hardworking. Know their place. They’re Indian of course. Damn good fighters. But some of the others? Dear God the towel heads are a nightmare. See one with a rucksack on a train? Mark my word you run for the hills. And their wives? Poor things. And they do look like letter boxes don’t they? Who knows, there could be bank robbers under all that clobber. The worst of it is it’s just not British. Well, English really. I don’t like to get bunched in with those bloody Scotch and Welsh whingers.
The thing about Boris is that he speaks our language. Calls a spade a shovel. Pulls no punches. None of this pinko political correctness. So they’re all out to get him. The lot of them. Big business. The Jews. Remainers. Well, they’re all the same aren’t they? If they had their way we’d have the krauts on the Mall in no time and we would be dancing to Juncker’s tunes. God, the Belgians are ghastly specimens. Fat, sweaty, bald. Reek of garlic.
It’s a bloody disgrace the way Boris is being treated. What happened to free speech? And what about Mr Mogg? Wonderful man. A proper English gentleman. The country needs men’s like these. Do you know in these desperate times a benign dictatorship would be no bad thing. Bring back national service, public flogging and of course the rope. The country’s gone soft”.

I would imagine monologues like that are happening in every pub and club in the land. What’s more it’s what Bozo wanted. It’s what he craves. He is once again the centre of attention.

What is so weird about it all is that everything is looked at, debated and decided, through the prism of Brexit. Brexiteers can do or say no wrong. They are true Brits. Plucky, outspoken and men of principle. Remainers are ghastly elitist mutineers hell bent on defeating the will of the British people. Can you imagine Mogg, Dorries, Brigden or any other member of Brexit’s barmy army coming out in support of Ken Clarke if he had written what Boris has? Don’t be daft. It wouldn’t happen.

Brexiteers have a free pass to do and say as they want. There is nothing to forgive. It’s a disgrace that May has the temerity to ask the old pretender to apologise. Mogg had the nerve to say that she has no right to discipline back benchers. Really? Quite bonkers. No surprises there then.

And now it is the turn of the amiable Brandon Lewis to receive the abuse for even considering having an Inquiry. What a wicked man.

My advice is don’t give in to these people. There must be due process. And obviously it’s only fair as we are in recess to let it begin when everyone returns. And these things take time.

There is also a blindingly obvious political point here. Labour is tearing itself apart for becoming anti Semitic apologists. Don’t let the Tories tear itself apart for being apologists for Islamophobia. Not a good idea to jump from the moral high ground into the Corbyn sewer.

What Bozo wrote wasn’t a hate crime. But it was designed to offend. And it succeeded. I don’t buy this guff that it was just some careless remarks whilst being late for a deadline. Nor the nonsense that it was brave to open the debate of the Burka. We had that years ago. The consensus is we don’t much like it, but as we live in a free country people can wear pretty much what they want provided they don’t interfere with the course of justice. And I don’t need to write two thousand words stating the bloody obvious. Like Bozo this was just a cunning stunt.

Share:

0 comments

Sign up via Facebook or Twitter to comment.

Moggites and Momentum have a lot in common. The deselection of a decent man like Frank Field is just the beginning

29 Jul 2018 at 11:06

I have known Frank Field since my election in 1983. I sat on his select committee and I regard him as a friend and one of the most decent and honourable people who have ever set foot in the House of Commons. He has done more for the underprivileged and the vulnerable than anyone of our generation. He leaked a report, well before he was an MP, when he was chairman of the Child Poverty Action Group which showed the duplicity of the the Callaghan government over the treatment of benefit claimants. He has been fearless in the Commons in attacking the rich and powerful over their ransacking of pension funds. He has been fighting the cancer of militant tendency in his constituency at a time before most starry eyed Corbynistas were born. And now Militant tendency have won. They have control of the levers of power of the Labour Party. They are now called Momentum and they have finally deselected Frank and will replace him with one of their own. This is a terrible day for democracy and the final death knell for Labour as a party that can be trusted to govern fairly and equally.

It goes without saying that I totally disagree with Frank over the EU. For one so intelligent, so experienced and sensible I have never quite understood why he has held these long held beliefs. But I respect him and I respect his right to hold them and act on them. Representative democracy is the bedrock of our Parliamentary system. Yet it is being murdered by stealth.

Moggites and Momentum have much in common when it comes to the power of the ‘people’. Moggites claim that the people have spoken in a referendum and that is the end of the matter. There is no room for argument or compromise. Their will must be done, but not by anyone who is not a true believer. Never mind if the electorate’s instructions are opaque and not to worry if it will do untold damage to the economy. Any dissent is anti democratic. Only the true guardians of the holy flame can be trusted and everyone else are mere supplicants to Brussels, traitors, mutineers, enemies of the people. Any MP who fails to do the bidding of their constituents and their party bosses must be purified or be cast out the party. The Electoral Commission declared that agents of Vote Leave acted illegally during the referendum. The have been fined both individually and collectively. Some are being referred to the police. They claim that this was a stitch up by a biased commission. In the alternative they say that if it wasn’t it doesn’t really matter. The money that was abused wouldn’t have made any difference to the overall result. And anyway, it was a mere drop in the ocean compared to the vast influence of the EU. This is the little people standing up to the self interested elite.

For Momentum it is only slightly different. Labour MPs are merely the delegates of the thousands of new members. The many controlled by the few. They will have no say in the manifesto. They will be given their orders and obey them. Anything less is treachery and will be rewarded by deselection courts where you can see the kangaroos jumping. Websites and trolls pour out fake news and abuse and threaten anyone who is not a true believer. And if they happen to be Jewish heaven help them. After all, it was the Jews who started all this smearing of Corbyn who is doing his level best to rid the party of anti semitism. And even in the unlikely event that it does exist, it is only a tiny minority. What on earth is the matter with the Jews? It’s time for them to start building bridges.

Both Moggites and Momentum are destroying our democracy, don’t give a damn about tolerance and have promised their supporters through deception and guile, that on the one hand Brexit will lead to a land of opportunity and prosperity and on the other that the overthrow of capitalism not only is within their grasp but will radically improve our lives.

Both are dangerous fantasies the full horror of which the public has not yet clocked. The great irony is that the Moggites are threatened with the prospect of a Labour government. In many ways it is what they want. It will achieve Brexit because that what’s what Momentum wants. And it will lead to a new Tory Party made in the Moggite image.

Imagine a Parliament with two extreme parties where the moderates have been squeezed out and a Liberal Democrat Party who should not be allowed out without a carer. I have never been so worried about the safety and prosperity of our country. And yet nobody shows courage and leadership. There will be social unrest and it troubles me deeply.

Share:

0 comments

Sign up via Facebook or Twitter to comment.

Javid has foolishly listened to his inner Daily Mail. The worst fate for the Jihadis would be a lifetime in an Alabama jail. To give them martyrdom will be a recruiting sergeant for the terrorist

24 Jul 2018 at 10:48

I would shed no tears if the two formerly British Jihadis who have wickedly wallowed in the obscenity of mindless murder were blown off the face of the earth, their ashes ground into dust and their souls cast into the pit of despair for eternity. I would have no qualms if they were shot by firing squads in Syria, perished in the heat of battle or died a painful death at the hands of the torturer.

But these are my gut and animal instincts born out of outrage and anger at the misery and horror that these two mutations of humanity took such joy. As someone who believes that the rule of law and due process is the cement that binds a civilised society I would not wish the state to facilitate the fate that my basest instincts desire. It is what separates us from them. It is that which makes us morally superior. It is what will make us victorious rather than vanquished.

I can see the dilemma that Javid faced. The public need to be assured that they will be protected from these sort of people. They need to understand that we don’t shoot first and ask questions later. They need to appreciate that we believe in due process and a fair trial for even the most flagrantly guilty. But deep down his inner Daily Mail knows that really they don’t. If these two monsters were released onto the streets of Barnsley they would be torn limb from limb and their bloodied remains paraded before the television cameras. Few would give much of a damn. A great day for British Justice. That’s if you prefer the rule of the mob to the rule of law. And if you think that I exaggerate, remember the crowds surrounding the prison van containing the two unspeakable children who murdered James Bulger. In your heart of hearts you know what would have happened if by some accident the van doors had swung open and those kids had fallen into the street.

I remember in the 1980’s the regular parliamentary debates on the death penalty. I won’t say hanging because some politicians helpfully put forward an interesting array of means of execution. One Tory backbencher, Peter Bruinvels, now a member of the Church of England Synod, was kind enough to offer his services as an executioner. These debates were depressing and unedifying spectacles. If we had a return to these grisly events under a Rees Mogg government I would expect to see Nadine Dorris doing her knitting whilst damp gussetly listening to a pro hanging speech by Boris. He would, of course, in his agony for the truth, written two different articles for the Telegraph.

Well, we abolished the death penalty in the early 1960s and the only thing that stops us re introducing it is the Human Rights Act, which Mr. Raab is very keen for us to repeal. Something to look forward to.

I am not going to argue the merit or otherwise of the death penalty, save to say that I have always voted against it despite my grand father being murdered when I was a child. Nobody is suggesting that Javid wants to restore it, although Priti Patel, that beacon of compassion, is very much in favour. The argument is whether he should have allowed the two Jihadis to be tried in an American court where the death penalty is available despite the conventions that we would only extradite if we had an assurance that there was not a chance of execution on conviction. It was an extraordinary and rather stupid decision because it actually puts British citizens at risk. The Jihadis relish martyrdom and they would be canonised by their followers. It would be portrayed as a heroes death and would be a recruiting sergeant for the terrorists. Martyrdom was always the most effective argument against the death penalty in the 80s because it would be a gift for PIRA.

Does anybody think these decisions through? Does anybody appreciate that the worst fate that we can offer these men is a lifetime in an Alabama jail? Answers on a postage stamp please.

Share:

0 comments

Sign up via Facebook or Twitter to comment.

The chief whip is in the last chance saloon, time has been called and it’s drinking up time

22 Jul 2018 at 08:57

Apart from the space between Boris Johnson and a television crew, the unsafest place to be Westminster is the government’s whips Office in a crisis. Which is most of the time.

It is the job of the whips to bring the government’s business home. Nothing more and nothing less. They are not relationship counsellors, nor for that matter are they Stone Age thugs clubbing the weak into submission. By and large they are a decent bunch trying to do a very difficult job. Most MPs are fairly compliant on the basis that as they won on a manifesto they are duty bound to vote for it. But the biggest hold that the whips have over their little charges is mystery and myth. For the Office to work effectively the chief has to be the Prime Minister’s Beria with a vast intelligence network covering every government department, every committee and every grouping. The best whips are like sponges. They soak up everything. If there is a group in a bar, tea room or dining room the good whip will sit down, chat, listen and report back. There is always a whip on duty in the chamber. He sits opposite the senior clerk. He is armed with a folder writing everything down. Every nuance, every barb, every lickspittling creepery. They also have a panic button if things go horribly wrong. It is on the side of the table.

So their most effective weapon is having a pretty good idea of the party mindset. This is often helped by gossip, particularly by informers who want to belittle their enemies and boost their career chances.

But back to mystery and myth. They have to convince their flock that they know every grubby little secret. Of course they can’t, but nobody can be quite sure. I remember a newly appointed whip excitedly telling us what happened in the office. He was gently pulled to one side and told to never lift the veil. It is a sort of priesthood. And for it to work it has to be. That is why there is a such a camaraderie in the office.

So much of the job is routine. But in minority government, the whips don’t always have the whip hand. And when you are dealing with zealots who are unbribable, unthreatenable and who will risk anything and everything the job becomes a nightmare. But at least they are relatively predictable. People like Heidi Allen on the left of the party and Andrea Jenkyns on the right are regarded as complete nutters. They seem to regard themselves as independents floating above the party system and have no respect for their leadership, caring not a jot for the consequences of what they do or say. They revel in the fact that they are often quoted in the press and are stupid enough to think it’s because what they have said is of great moment. Poor fools. They only get their name in print because journalists love to report division. On the back benches they are treated with courtesy but are friendless.

So what happened on the night of the broken pairs? Did Julian Smith behave like a dishonourable little shit? Was it an honest mistake? We will never know. But my instincts tell me that he panicked. The vote had to go through. The pressure was enormous. He was stress tested to almost destruction and he behaved like a bloody fool. That is not an excuse because what he did was inexcusable.

Smith is very lucky that this happened just before the recess. In July, even in the calmest of times, MPs go stir crazy. A long break might just calm the other parties down. Bit they won’t forgive or forget. The whole system works on trust. If that trust breaks down government business grinds to a halt. Ministers are in lock down and will find it difficult to fly off to Brussels or anywhere else.

Smith made a terrible error of judgement and will have to throw the opposition parties some slack. He is in the last chance saloon and it’s drinking up time.

Share:

0 comments

Sign up via Facebook or Twitter to comment.

Homage to Rudyard Kipling who will be spinning in his grave

19 Jul 2018 at 11:19

Tear down the bloody statues
of those who thought in a different way.
Take joy in reducing to rubble the heroes of yesterday.

Free speech is just a weapon of those who are born to oppress
women, blacks, students and those in tribal dress.
And welcome to a new world where we the people set the scene.
But be sure to draw the curtain that shows that the people are
really me.

Share:

0 comments

Sign up via Facebook or Twitter to comment.

Will someone show some leadership. This country is in mortal peril and all the goverment does is appease the purists. Wake up and be strong.

17 Jul 2018 at 11:45

I really don’t want to write another word about Boris Johnson. I have almost said it all. But there is a question which will mark the mettle of the man. Will he have the courage to make a personal statement tomorrow? My gut instincts tell me that he won’t. Like all bullies he is at heart a coward. His resignation was so calculated and so cynical that he is despised on both sides of the House. Without the trappings of office he will be a much diminished figure. Can he take the jeering, the cat calls the humiliation? And that’s just from his own side.

I have seen the great and the good destroyed when they don’t have the armour of the despatch box. I served in one parliament with Roy Jenkins. He was a towering figure, a Bletchley code breaker, a humane Home Secretary, a masterful Chancellor, a powerful president of the European Commission. And he was the leading member of the Gang of Four which really broke the mould of British politics. Out of nowhere the SDP were only 462,144 votes behind Labour in the 1983 election. It was a stupendous result and Jenkins had won a by election in the unlikely constituency of Glasgow Hillhead. He should have bestrode the chamber like a Colossus. Instead he became a figure of fun. He was humiliated, jeered at and became a broken figure. It was tragic to see this great, humane and rather proud man treated like dirt. And totally destroyed. Eventually he lost his seat to George Galloway in 1987.

Why? Because the Labour Party never forgave him for leading a desertion of their MPs to the SDP. It is instructive to remember precisely why. With the election of the saintly Michael Foot Labour had drifted to the left. And moderate MPs had the courage to set up a new party. But Michael Foot would look like a right winger compared to Corbyn and his gangsters.

If only Labour moderates today had the courage of Roy Jenkins, David Owen, Bill Rogers and Shirley Williams. They are a gutless rabble and deserve to be deselected. This is the modern tragedy of Labour.

There are two rules in politics which never fail. Firstly the public are reluctant to vote for a divided party. The Conservatives learned this lesson in 1997. The Bill Cash brigade infected with the theology of Brexit wanted to throw moderation to the wind and cast their party into the wilderness for a generation. They elected two ideologically pure leaders who could never win a general election. IDS and Howard. It was Theresa May as party chairman who warned that we had become the nasty party. It took David Cameron to detoxify the brand.

John Major had to put up with a lot. But it is nothing compared to the vile abuse that May has to put up with on a daily basis. The Chequers proposal was the beginning of something sensible. There has to be a compromise in politics as there is in trade deals. What astounds me is that If May had the courage to face down her Cabinet why can’t she face down the Mogg brigade? Not all the members of ERG are cultists. Many, like David Davies, want to exit the EU with as little damage to the economy as possible. It is common sense to have a Customs arrangement of some sort and a common rule book (as we would have to have in any trade deal) as long as Parliament call the shots. It is common sense to take account of decisions of the ECJ provided our courts call the shots. None of this is brain surgery.

The trouble is that moderate MPs are terrified of their associations and electors. And it’s their own fault. If they persist in spouting this nonsensical mantra that we must be bold, business is wrong, we need more belief in ourselves and little old Blighty will always muddle though, it’s not surprising that anything other than a clean break is regarded as a betrayal. Why don’t MPs just tell the public the truth? Silly me.

Only Michael Gove has bothered to spell out the importance of Chequers. Where is everybody else? I’ll tell you. They are spineless wimps hiding in their bunkers and praying for someone else to do the heavy lifting.

So what options do we have? A General Election? On what policy would we stand? Madness and it would let those committed Marxists and Brexiteers Corbyn and McDonnell in. They would declare a state of emergency and it would probably be the last free election we would ever have.

A referendum? But on earth would be on the ballot paper? And it would be dirtier and more dishonest than the last one.

A new moderate party drawn from Labour and Tory moderates? Sadly, nobody has the courage to put their heads above the parapets.

But the purists are spooked. They are beginning to realise that their dream is turning into a nightmare and are screaming betrayal. It’s all the fault of the elite. Business, bankers and anybody who is not a true believer. They are cornered, dangerous, seriously deranged and will stop at nothing to achieve a no deal crash out.

Could someone somewhere show some leadership? Some balls. Something. Anything. Our country is in mortal danger and we just stand like frightened rabbits in the headlights of the oncoming juggernaut. Hoping that something will turn up. It won’t.

Share:

0 comments

Sign up via Facebook or Twitter to comment.

Poor Boris must be a very lonely man, the Archie Rice of politics, going through his routine dead behind the eyes and despising his audience.

12 Jul 2018 at 08:02

In many ways I feel desperately sorry for Boris Johnson. He may be a vile, vainglorious, selfish steaming pile of horseshit with the principles and morality of a Kremlin hitman, but deep down he must be achingly lonely. Behind the melting mask of Bon moted bonhomie he is friendless.

Oh, there are the hangers on. Those who want to bask in his reflected glory. And those who want to grip his tawdry coat tails for a white knuckled ride to glory. But who trusts him? Who respects him? And who loves him? Who can he ring in the black dog hours of the night to pour out what is left of his soul that is not in hock? I doubt if there is anyone. No man is an island but Boris gets pretty close to it.

He must know that he will never hold high office again. That his leadership dreams are dashed and that the best that he can hope for is for the Daily Telegraph to give him well paid vanity publishing rights. And spew unconscionable bile and poison against Mrs May. For any newspaper to accuse the Prime Minister of being a traitor when she is just doing her best to hold the crumbling fabric of her party and country together is obscene. If the Barclay brothers had an ounce of decency they would throw Chris Evans to the wolves. He makes Paul Dacre look like a shy and retiring Church of England curate.

But back to Boris. What will happen when the laughter stops? When the adulation fades away? When he finally realises that whatever laughter that is left is at him? Already, he is transforming into the Archie Rice of politics going through the motions of his routine, despising his audience and dead behind the eyes. Or will he just turn into the Rector of Stiffkey? A broken man so desperate for public attention that he locked himself in the lions cage until the lion turned on him and mauled him to death. His sad but poignant dying words were, “will I make the last edition?’

David Davis will. He at least behaved with honour, dignity and principle. And Boris? If he does it will be as the man who sacrificed both the Conservative party and the country on the altar of his ambition. In the meantime let him burn in the hellfires of tedium in Uxbridge.

Share:

0 comments

Sign up via Facebook or Twitter to comment.

May achieved what Thatcher was famous for but never achieved, the outmanoeuvring of her Cabinet which would make Machiavelli blush. She owes Gove a lot

8 Jul 2018 at 09:44

I have never been a May enthusiast. I have always been of the view that she is hefted to avoid making decisions. That her instinct is to throw every tricky one into the long grass. Yesterday I was proved wrong.

Very often the threats that are leaked from Number 10 are nothing more than wind and piss which are eventually flushed away through the sewers of the Mail and the Telegraph. Yesterday I was proved wrong again.

It is not beyond belief that yesterday’s rout of psycho Brexit was the culmination of a long term plan. After all this month heralds the first blue moon in many years and a distinct possibility that England could win the World Cup. But that seems ungracious. The truth of the matter is that this rather awkward vicar’s daughter did something that Margaret Thatcher was always famous for but never really achieved. She routed her enemies in cabinet. She out manoeuvred them with a skill that would make Machiavelli blush. It was the man in the pub approach. ‘The only way you can get politicians to agree to anything is to lock ‘em in a room, take way their phones and threaten to take away their fancy jobs’. This was not just a sentiment, but the brutal reality. The Big Beasts, with their macho posturing, their empty threats and their pitiful attempts at bullying have been publicly humiliated. As Orwell might have said, he who controls the news controls the present. And he who controls the present controls the past. For the moment. At the moment the public are enjoying the sunshine and the football. They don’t give a damn about what Boris, Leadsom and the increasingly ghastly McVey claim to have said. They signed up. They backed down. They blinked first.

Of course they are entitled to leak their versions of events. The heroic words. The fighting talk. The Boris bon mots. They can just about get away with it. Briefly. But anything more will lead to their dismissal. This is not a threat but a welcome return to reality. Collective responsibility is coming home.

It would be foolish to underestimate the importance of the political rehabilitation of Michael Gove. His forensic analysis was the catalyst for unity. I have said this many times, but he is one of the few ministers in my memory who actually improves every department that he has run. He may be quirky but he masters his briefs and then thinks about them. This is sadly a rarity in modern politics. Ministers tend to be spoon fed by their Spads.

Gove has sensibly come to a pragmatic analysis. We are where we are. It is not a place where we wanted to be but let’s make the best of it. Although I am a fervent Remainer it is my analysis too. Gove can unite the likes of me and moderate Brexiteers. For those on the extreme ends of both arguments the game is up. It’s time for the grown ups to take back control.

Madame underestimates the pivotal role of Gove to get a respectable deal with Brussels at her peril. She must put behind her the old animosities as he must abandon Cummings and his kind. They must work together. Closely.

I give Boris a week, maybe two, to step over the mark and book his Uber ride from Downing Street. Micheal Gove would be an ideal replacement. He has averted catastrophe and deserves to be rewarded.

And what of Mogg and his ERG acolytes? They will huff and they will puff but they will not blow the house down. Their threats of leadership elections are just that. We have been there before. And Graham Brady will knock sense and grim reality into back benchers. Three words should do the trick. Corbyn and McDonnell.

Tomorrow will be a crunch day. Madame’s address to the 22 must be carefully orchestrated. Leading lights of both camps must publicly support her. I would be amazed if they didn’t. If Gove and Greg Clark can write a joint article there is more than hope.

Personally I still think leaving the EU is a terrible mistake. But I can’t turn back time nor indulge in the fantasy that the referendum decision can be reversed. We are where we are so let’s make the best of it.

Share:

0 comments

Sign up via Facebook or Twitter to comment.