The NIC omnibollocks and the firing of Hezza. 'Me Tarzan you Pain'

10 Mar 2017 at 10:55

Oh, God they are at it again. Hammond announces that he is going to raise NIC on the self employed, a clear breach of an election pledge. There is shock horror that back benchers think that this a terrible idea. There is panic at Number 10 and now talk of a review. This is the situation that we had with business revaluation. And expect another whiff of burning rubber from the hopeless Liz Truss with her re jigging of injury compensation which will cost the NHS about £6billion. She should expect to get one of those very annoying phone calls. ‘Good afternoon Miss Truss. Our records reveal that you have been involved in a serious accident. Compensation is expected to be in the region of £6 billion’. Sometimes I just want to weep.

The really stupid thing about the NIC omnibollocks is that it hits at small businesses who are the the engines of growth driving the economy and the pinups of Tory party economic philosophy. The twisted treasury logic is that they do not pay the same rate of NIC as those on PAYE. Of course not you bell ends. The self employed don’t get paid leave, maternity/paternity pay, child care allowances and sick pay. They are also the risk takers. They are the plumbers, the plasterers, the carpenters, the hairdressers and the web site designers. The actual amount they will pay extra is not a lot. At the moment. But we all know it will the thin edge of the wedgie. The self employed like pensions funds will be the new milch cow. All this trouble for £2 billion? Why didn’t these jokers see it coming? And there lies the problem. There seems to be no emotional intelligence on display. No political nous. No understanding of the consequences of their acts. This government’s economic policy is popping into the Last Chance Saloon and shooting everything that moves. And whilst the undertaker measures the dead for their coffins, they find the bodies of the sherif and his family, the pastor and the bank manager. ‘Oh fuck, we’ve accidentally killed the good guys,’ they squeal. Well, time has been called and it’s past drinking up time. Get a grip.

If we had an opposition which was worthy of its name they would accuse the government of mind boggling incompetence. But as they would make the word blush it’s a total waste of time. The trouble is that these are the guys who are negotiating our withdrawal from the EU. It doesn’t fill me with confidence.

Then there is the problem of Philip Hammond. As I have warned before May must not be seen to humiliate or undermine him. She is just as responsible for this mess as he is. And it was trailed in the press. To be honest I just thought that it was an aunt Sally to be knocked down. Like the £300 million for new grammar schools. Totally bonkers and politically poison. But if May falls out with Hammond and gets her elves to do a ‘slap down’ briefing he will walk. And then we have a crisis turning into a catastrophe. Remember two words, Nigel Lawson. Oh, and another couple of words to keep in mind about parties who break clear manifesto commitments are, Liberal Democrats.

And then the sacking of Hezza. What a stupid waste of talent and a petty, vindictive show of spite. It’s a bit like the Pope holding a referendum amongst Catholics asking if they would like to convert to Islam. And if a small majority thought it would be a good idea quite a few clergy would be entitled to continue believe what they have done for the last 2000 years. In many ways the problem with Brexiteerism is that it is a faith based religion set in stone. It is the Bill Cash version of the book of Leviticus.

I am surprised nobody resurrected the old cartoon of Hezza flying though the jungle in a loin cloth with a speech bubble directed at a loin cloth clad Thatcher, ’me Tarzan you Pain