Boris’s passionate love affair that the public have a right to know about

While the country prepares itself for that warm fuzzy feeling of joy, indifference, patriotism and the obligatory drunkenness which is our collective experience of a Royal wedding, we can at least say that the happy couple are genuinely in love.

So unlike the politicians.

Although there does appear to be a Kormance between Trump and Kim Yung Un who will be getting a room together in July. From fat little rocket man to an honourable one. A remarkable change in mood music.

For now.

But there is no love between Iran and Trump. Nor likely to be.

Everyone knew that the moment Boris Johnson landed on American soil with a mission to persuade the President to back the Obama Iranian nuclear deal and side with the Europeans all was lost. This venally hopeless and criminally lazy Foreign Secretary is the dementor’s kiss to diplomacy. And his suggestion that Trump could win the Nobel peace prize was cheesily cringeworthy. And bordering on the Disneyland. And a failure.

Now I know I may need counselling for saying this, but the President may have a point in crashing out of this agreement.

Most swashbuckling politicians are more buckle than swash. But not this guy.

The original deal gave us some sort of tolerable working relationship with Iran. For an unfreezing of $130 bn worth of assets they would slow down their military nuclear programme which they claimed didn’t exist. But they are the largest exporters of terrorism in the Middle East. The agreement did nothing to curb their financing of Hesbollah and Hamas.

Now hands over your ears Mr.Corbyn, Israel has provided strong evidence that Iran is pursuing a military nuclear programme.

Who’d have thought it?

Their enrichment of uranium is not just for heating up the water for bath time.

Anyhow, back home Boris is still conducting the deepest and most meaningful love affair of his life. It is deep, passionate and unconditional. It is with himself.

Harry and Megan eat your hearts out.

I can’t work out whether Boris is in true self destruct mode and desperately wants to be sacked or is just playing chicken with May by calling her plan for a Customs Partnership with the EU Crazy. And doing so in public. This has infuriated what once was his power base and spring board to the leadership.

But when Boris plays chicken you can always expect foul play.

I really don’t understand this Customs row. Friends of David Davis, which is usually the code for David himself, say that unless May abandons the plan he will quit. And there are dark mutterings of a leadership election.
It won’t happen. It’s bluster.

And when arch Brexiteer Dan Hannan, the snot of the devil to some Remainers, warns that all is not going to plan, you know that the purists are in trouble.

Then there is the funereal figure of Rees Mogg, the man with a smile like the brass plate on a coffin. He is causing trouble too.

Well, what’s new?

But the perfumed manners seem to have fallen away to reveal the country squire’s tactic of thrashing the servants when they show any signs of disobedience. And this is beginning to irritate Tory backbenchers as well. The overwhelming majority want a deal. Yesterday, he was publicly slapped down by Madame. The fight back has started.

They accept we will leave the EU, the single market and THE Customs Union. But they also appreciate that that if we want frictionless trade there has to be some sort of Customs arrangement otherwise trade will grind to a halt.

All negotiations have to be about compromise. About give and take.

Now is the time for a dose of reality. Time is running out. A deal has to be thrashed out soon, as the European political classes float off tho their villas and mistresses at the end of June.

May is preparing the ground for a compromise and will face down the purists. She will succeed because she has to.

And then there was the extraordinary and unprecedented apology by the PM for the extraordinary rendition of an opponent of Ghaddaffi when Blair was seeking to curry favour with the dictator. In 2004 MI6 assisted the CIA in transporting this guy to a Bangkok prison where he was tortured.

Well, it’s easy to apologise when it didn’t happen on your watch.

The then Foreign Secretary, Jack Straw, denies any knowledge of wrongdoing and his successor, David Miliband, denies any knowledge of a coverup.

This has not been a good week for Foreign secretaries past and present.

But it has been a mixed week for the Lords who have been repeatedly over turning the government over Brexit and then started demanding curbs on the freedom of the press. I really don’t get this at all. Labour wants to introduce laws which will mean that if somebody makes a complaint about an article the publisher would have to pay costs even if they overturn the complaint. And they of course support IMPRESS, the child of Max Moseley and Hacked Off. After all, Max has been a big donor to the party.

This is the political morality of the sewer.

Or maybe it has been a terrible week for the Lords as the Daily Mail, in full carpet biting mode, are demanding that they should be abolished, these traitors these, saboteurs, the mutinous enemies of the people.

Now that would really please Mr.Corbyn.

But Jeremy, I don’t wasn’t to ruin your specially ground, fair trade Venezuelan pre lunch coffee, but I have some very bad news for you. Which proves beyond doubt that that is an international conspiracy against Russia and the Socialist Internationale.

And you.

The winners of the Eurovision Song Contest was Israel.

Best not call them Gammon though.