The Tories need a Tom Watson

13 Mar 2019 at 11:54

Poor old Brexit. She appears to be waiting for Diane Abbott to sing. And then it will be all over. The air will be thick with recriminations, the howls of protest, the pointing of fingers, the sly threats of civil disobedience, the hysteria of a failure of politics and the trope of an establishment stitch up will begin. The sad irony and terrible truth is that if Brexit withers on the vine it will because of the selfishness, the stupidity and sheer bloody mindedness of the Ergonauts. They have betrayed Brexit voters and they have become the enemies of the people. Their people. They will not be forgiven.

So politics is broken and Parliament has taken back control. In theory this is good news. In reality what will it achieve apart from the welcome assassination of a no deal Brexit? A delay? To do what? A referendum? To achieve what, other than further division? A general election? To settle what? A leadership election? Oh, for God’s sake.

Brexit may have broken Britain, Parliament and government, but it will never go away. It can’t be brushed under the carpet, nor ignored, nor abandoned. So where do we go from here? To be honest I haven’t a clue. And nor does anyone else. All I do know is that leaving the EU is now a pipe dream and that pipe is filled with a particular noxious substance.

Poor old Geoffrey Cox. I bet he is wishing he spent more time in Parliament than in court as he might have learned a thing or two about politics. Being Attorney General is not just about giving legal advice. You could train a chimp to do that. And we have had a few of those in the past. After all, he has the finest legal minds at his disposal. His job is to finesse it. Well, there’s another knighthood that has bitten the dust. OK, its not fair, but politics rarely is. I’ve never knowingly met him, but he seems a decent fellow who is trying to do his best. But his brief required great political skill and the old boy just hasn’t had the experience. I suspect that he will soon be spending more time with his briefs.

More amazing than the collapse of executive government are the antics of of Tom Watson. He has played a blinder. The Corbynistas are incandescent with rage. But there is nothing much they can do except gripe. He has his own mandate. He is certainly not a Blairite and was a key player in his defenestration. And nobody can accuse him of disloyalty to his party as he is trying to hold it together. This must be worrying for the Tiggers and, if they have time to consider it, discombobulating for the Tories.

It may well be that the May deal will have to be scrapped and we start all over again. Nobody could have been more steadfast, more hardworking, more resilient than Madame. She has served her country and her party diligently. But she is knackered. She can’t go through all of this again. And she shouldn’t be expected to. When no deal bites the dust and when article 50 is extended for more than three months, then I have no doubt that she will throw in the towel. If the party has any sense they should elect Michael Gove. Sadly, good sense and the Tories are not natural bed fellows at the moment. If they plump for an Ergonaut then the party will be destroyed. We need a Tom Watson.

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