After lying in front of a JCB for £10k Boris is setting the trend for sponsored MPs. Grayling for Anusol and Mogg for Domestos, ‘clean round the bend’.

27 Jan 2019 at 08:38

Well, for once in this sorry Brexit psycho drama there is light at the end of the tunnel. And it may not be the train. It looks as if Madame might just squeak home with her deal if she puts the kibosh on the backstop. It shouldn’t be too much of a hurdle as the EU were not in favour of it the first place. And if the price is some form of customs arrangement provided that we can, after full negotiations, strike our own trade deals, why not?

To be fair the government shouldn’t claim too much credit for it. If it hadn’t been for the Supreme Court (and Gina Miller) the executive would have steam rollered article 50 without consulting Parliament at all. If it hadn’t been for Dominic Grieve there wouldn’t have been a meaningful vote. If it hadn’t been for Yvette Cooper we would be sleep walking into a no deal catastrophe. And now it looks like Graham Brady may save the day. He is probably the most powerful and influential Chairman of the 1922 in living memory. But have no fear, there will be plenty of other opportunities for the government to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Although I have tremendous sympathy for those Remainers who want a second referendum it was always going to be doomed unless they had the support of Corbyn, which was never going to be forthcoming. Nowadays, unless a policy involves Venezuela or Palestine, his concentration span is that of a gnat. He is truly Caracas.

A second referendum is only going to be on the table again if Parliament can’t make up its mind what it wants. So please Anna, Chuka and Dominic support Madame’s deal. Follow the lead of Ken Clarke. Trying to stop Brexit is a fool’s errand and plays into the hands of the carpet biters.

But do not under estimate Jacob and the Ergonauts who will sail the seven seas in search of the impossible. They will never give up. Like a stale fart in a lift they will linger indefinitely and continue to get up everyone’s nose. To them the May deal is a skirmish that they can afford to lose. The big prize is part two. The future relationship between the U.K. and the EU is where the real heavy lifting begins.

Mogg has been on an amazing journey. Once admired as a great Parliamentarian and tipped as a future Speaker. Then a wannabe king maker utterly convinced that his coup would topple Madame. But it was just a charge of the Light Headed Brigade. Then after his defeat he demanded that she resign. Then he said that he now supported her. After that it all became a bit mucky. The great Parliamentarian was rather saddened to see that Parliament might just do something he didn’t want therefore the the Queen should shut it down. Finally, although it won’t really be finally, he drawls that the government were responsible for her realistic comments to the Sandringham women’s institute. You couldn’t make it up. We leave that to him.

Which brings me on to Bozo. The JCB leadership entertainment was a theatre of the absurd. Denying to professional political Rottweiler, Michael Crick, that he had said anything about Turkey in the campaign is serious suicide jacket stuff. And then, joy of joys, he was paid £10k for the speech with David Davis trousering about £60k for twenty hours of ‘advice’.

It must all be in the spirit of free enterprise. In future, let business sponsor our MPs, who in return for a few bob will wear the company logo in the chamber. Grayling could sponsor Anusol, although he would be probably be sacked after an unfortunate poster of him orally administering one with a glass of water. But sponsorship should only be the sole preserve of backbenchers as most of the cabinet are unemployable. Oh, if only the splendid Paddy Ashdown was still with us. He would obviously be sponsored by Rentakill. But I understand that Mogg is very much in demand. The word is that he will be wearing the Domestos logo, “Clean Round The Bend”.

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