Osborne vagazzled McDonnell's cunning stunt of praying in aid a massmurdering psychpath who forced Britain's largest investor to live in a cave

26 Nov 2015 at 07:33

George Osborne’s reputation is a bit like Katie Price’s derrière; it’s looking peachy but over the years it has taken one hell of a pounding. Yesterday George vagazalled John McDonnell’s cunning stunt of praying in aid a Chinese psychopath mass murderer who forced one of Britain’s largest investors to live in a cave. You couldn’t make it up. But whoever thought of the wheeze to give the tax on women’s sanitary products to women’s charities deserves a plinth in the pantheon of political cynicism. Tampax tibi.

Imagine old McDonnell with his funny farm of advisors pouring over the Winter Statement an hour before it was delivered. ’He’s not tinkering with the tax credit fiasco his scrapping it, the bastard. Cross out the “too little too late” bit. Fuck, he’s giving more money to the health service. Strike out the “Osborne fiddles while the NHS burns line”. Shit, more money for the police. Abandon that zinger “while Paris mourns and Brussels is in lock down this chancellor leaves British working people unprotected”.’ It must have been a terrible experience for them.

The really clever thing about the Winter Statement is how on earth the Treasury kept that £27bn windfall (they would call I the fruits of sound economic management) a secret? Quite a feat. The trick of being a good chancellor is being on the right side of the economic cycle and giving the illusion that you are prudent when actually you are contemplating putting the contingency reserve on a filly at York. But really the trick is consistency and sticking to your guns when even your own party and the press are screaming for you to change course on your central economic theme. Bravery and unpopularity have finally paid off. Boris, who was catching up on the leadership polls, must be thoroughly fed up. He has only Europe as his
Sat hurrah.

There is chatter about Corbyn not lasting another year. For all the obvious reasons I don’t buy that. He may be regarded as unelectable by the punters but grass roots Labour think that he is the best thing since Ed Miliband. So there won’t be any coups. But Jeremy is only human. At the best of times being Labour leader is a living hell. He might just get a bit of a boost if they retain Meacher’s seat, but there will be pandemonium if the Kippers win. The real test will be the May elections. If there is wipe out it will be Tom Watson’s painful duty to encourage him to take a short break in Switzerland where he might care to drop in to the Dignitas clinic. Or Jeremy might just get fed up with the sheer monotonous horror of it all. I doubt it. He takes his strength from being feted by true believers and viewing mainstream media with contempt. Old Labour hands tell me rather in hope that his health might be the determining factor. Well, we’ll see.

Corbyn is blessed with a deputy leader who is remarkably loyal, dignified and discreet. That must be quite terrifying. Corbyn would be wise to keep a careful eye on his elderflower cordial, particularly when Tom is nearby. If Watson, by whatever means, becomes Labour leader the Tories had better watch out.