Welcome to Fuckeroo territory

17 Jul 2015 at 16:07

I suppose it should not be forgotten that on the same day Jeremy Corbyn confounded his critics and propelled the Labour Party into a death spiral and Tim Farron was elected as Lib Dem leader Disneyland was opened in 1955. All three are interconnected and best summed up by a member of the shadow cabinet as ‘we are now in fuckeroo territory’. Some fuck and some roo as Churchill might not have said.

But it marks the end of an electable Labour Party, which is rather sad. They cannot survive this. The party has already swerved to the left. Poor Hattie came out with some remarkably sensible views about benefits on Marr last week. They have been strangled at birth. The party could be led by Burnham, but they can’t win with those sort of policies. They can’t be led by Cooper either. And poor sensible Liz is the devil incarnate. It is the end.

But what a wonderful opportunity for Tim Farron the highly energetic and slightly left wing Lib Dem leader. He is savvy enough to spend the summer love bombing not so much the Blairites, but those who would rather like to keep their seats and perhaps get back into government on some distant day.

For those of you who think this is all a little far fetched ask yourself what would have happened if the Tories had elected Bill Cash as leader or he had come a respectable second. There would have been mass defections. Tim is new, young, charismatic and is perfectly capable of showing a bit of ankle to what can only be described as Fucked Labour. This really is his chance to break the mould. Labour failed in Scotland because they were perceived as not being Socialist enough and failed in the south for appearing to be too Socialist. The trouble is that Socialism is about as fashionable in England as flaired trousers and vaginal deodorant. So what do the likes of Umuna and Hunt do? Sit it out for three years and then pray for a new leader? This seems to be the current wisdom but it’s not very wise. In Labour La La land the turkeys not only vote for Christmas but they preach how wonderful it is. The trouble is that the anti austerity argument has a bit of traction now, but unless Osborne totally screws up it won’t be relevant in 2020. Ah,the joy of 2020 vision. So what will the man on the Clapham Omnishambles do? Run for the hills.